Monkling’s Blog

Last night we were watching the 100 m sprint. I said to Frank & Theresa, “That’s what I want to do. I don’t want to do any marathon. Those are too slow. I want to run really fast like that.” We watched the Jamaican who won the gold celebrate his achievement.

“I can run like that.”

“No, you need long legs,” Frank said. We all have abnormally short legs.

“Nah. All I need are those gold Pumas like he has,” I tell Frank. I then get up off the couch. My intent is to run as fast as I can from the living room into the dining room, just to show them how fast I can run. A thought shoots through my head that this might not be the wisest thing to do, considering my slowly healing foot ligament but I toss the thought aside.

As I put my foot down on the floor, it slips out from under me and I land on the floor. Hard. Damn, I knew it was a bad idea cleaning today! I think I was rolling on the floor, laughing hysterically for about 5 minutes before I could calm myself enough to get up and sit back on the couch. Theresa & Frank are asking me if I’m okay. Did I hurt anything. I start laughing again & lift up my left arm. “My wrist.”

Don’t worry. It’s fine. But I am rather disappointed that it seems I won’t ever be a sprinter.

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I’ve been watching a bit of it and then Katie posted on her blog about the Olympics & it got me to thinking. It’s not a new thought. I probably think about this every time the Olympics rolls around. If I were to pretend I was in some sort of great physical shape and if I was 30 years younger, what sport would I want to compete in at the Olympics?

It would have to be something fast. I have narrowed it down to running or speed skating. I think I’d lean more towards running because I don’t like those outfits the skaters have to wear.

Okay, I thought we had a break in the thunder & lightening but apparently not so I’m afraid you all will be deprived of a long post. Ever since my dad’s computer got fried in a lightening storm, I shut mine down at the first rumbles.

If anyone is obsessive about keeping up with the latest medal rankings, schedule, and all the rest - this site has everything. And it certainly should, considering it’s in China.

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Okay, not really. You see I was watching the Home Run Derby last night. It was amazing watching Josh Hamilton. It’s nice to see someone overcome addiction and then go out there and excel. From what I understand, he now helps others with addictions, giving talks & stuff. I can’t even imagine how cool it must have been to actually be there in Yankee Stadium watching it in person. 28 home runs! Some of them were hit so far, they said nearly went out of the park.

So, having watched that, I decided to pull out the sports game and give the Wii a go. I played my own version of home run derby. Twice. I didn’t get one single home run. Not one. Ah, it was a very sad day. I didn’t even make contact with some of them. I’m going to have to go into training here. I blame that tennis elbow of last year. Yeah, that’s the problem. I’ve never been the same since.

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It’s been a few years since a parade of boys has marched through my house to the dining room closet in search of basketballs & other assorted sports equipment. Back in the old days, every one of Stephen’s friends knew where to find the big bin with about a dozen baseballs, tennis balls, gloves and just about anything else they’d need. Since we live across the street from a playground complete with basketball courts, handball courts & a softball field, there were even times I’d have boys appear on my doorstep when Steve wasn’t even here, asking if they could borrow a ball.

Today I decided that bin can go down in the basement. After all, my basement doesn’t have nearly enough stuff down there already. You can still see part of the floor.

I started looking through the bin first, to see if there was anything I could throw out. Some decisions were easy. “Hmmm…. this softball that’s missing it’s cover? Yeah, I think it has seen better days.” Others weren’t so easy. “I can’t get rid of this glove Steve had when he was 8! Oh, how cute & little it is!” Then there are the bats from the Little League days. There’s no one in the house who will use it but what if my nephew wants to use it while he’s here?

Yep, you can see where this went. Not much got thrown out. What do you expect from someone who still has a paddle ball racket that dates back to high school? Ask me when was the last time I used that. Uh, yeah, prior to 1975, when I graduated from high school. But hey, ya never know. Someday someone might be looking for a paddle ball racket.

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For most people, that doesn’t mean anything. For baseball fans, on the other hand, it means the playoffs.

I didn’t always like baseball. Sure we’ve always been Yankee fans but that was more because of genetics than anything else. I didn’t really pay much attention to baseball until I realized there were a lot of really good looking guys playing. Then it suddenly became more interesting.

My sister & I started watching it in the Thurman Munson, Willie Randolph, Reggie Jackson days - in the late 1970s. I don’t recall ever picking up a newspaper back then so I didn’t know about any of the behind the scenes drama. All we knew was we thought Bucky Dent was cute. Janet got a cockatiel which she named Lou after Lou Piniella. Poor Lou turned out to be Louise after she started laying eggs. I’m not sure if the real Lou would be offended or flattered about having a bird for a namesake.

My mom hated baseball. It took my father’s attention away from her and he was glued to the TV during playoffs. She never knew the first thing about baseball. I could swear I recall her making a reference to 4th base.

As she got older and started watching more & more TV, her hatred of baseball suddenly changed. I had no clue about this change and one day we were visiting them when the game was on.

“Oh, is that Pudge up at bat?” Mom asked.

“Who the heck is Pudge?” I knew all the Yankee players but had no idea of anyone on any other team, much less their nicknames.

“You don’t know who Pudge is?” I could swear I saw this triumphant glint in her eye, reveling in the fact that she knew more about baseball than I did. “Ivan Rodriguez. He’s the catcher for Texas.”

My mother had turned from a woman who despised baseball to someone who was yelling at the umpire through the TV when she disagreed with the calls, especially when her favorite players were up at bat. She knew the names of all the Yankee players and somewhere, there’s an autographed photo of Paul O’Neill written out to her when she was in the hospital for 4 months.

I have a feeling she’s watching the game right now, rooting for her boys.

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o/~ o/~ A pirate’s life for me. o/~ o/~

We don’t have to leave just yet for the nursing home so we’re watching the Yankee game. The commentators get into this conversation about eating M & Ms and then they show the bullpen and a couple of young pitchers are sitting in there eating sunflower seeds and whatever. One guy is shoving a wrapper into an empty water bottle…. I guess when they’re not pitching, they have to find ways to amuse themselves.

So the commentators are talking about how they have all sorts of snacks in there and then one guy says to the other (who used to be a pitcher), “What was the candy of choice back in your day?”

“Jolly Rogers.” We caught the mistake before they did, when the guy realizes he meant “Jolly Ranchers.”

Well I just thought it was funny and I feel a responsibility to share any remotely funny story with my fans.

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Well not really. More like vote for the ball. It seems there’s this rich designer guy, Marc Ecko, who bought the baseball that Barry Bonds hit to break the home run record. Now that he has the ball, he wants your vote. There’s a website set up where you can vote on what happens to the ball:

A) Bestow it.
Give the ball to Cooperstown.

B) Brand it.
Burn an asterisk into the ball and then send it to Cooperstown.

C) Banish it.
Blast it off into outer space.

Voting ends September 25th so get those votes in!

I just thought this was so funny and so cool. (I chose “B.” ) Okay, now off to check on how the Yankee game is going…

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No one is chewing baseballs but that sounds like a better title than Chewing and Baseball. Today’s conversation does involve baseball and chewing. What is up with baseball players and their need to be chewing on something? Back in the day it used to be tobacco. I am glad they cut that out. There are very few things in the world that are more disgusting than someone spitting out a bunch of brown spit. Gum is a bit better. I’d much rather see bubbles coming out of their mouth.

But why do they all constantly chew gum? Does chewing help them hit better? Is it some sort of caffeine gum to give them a nice little jolt? (Hmmm… if there isn’t such a thing, now there’s a good, useful suggestion of something someone should invent.) Are they trying to keep their jaws in as good shape as the rest of their bodies?

Then there are the seeds. I tried getting a good look at them when one of the players was spitting the shells out but I couldn’t make out whether they were sunflower seeds or pumpkin seeds. Maybe I should have paused the Tivo to see them better but I didn’t think of it at the time. But the type of seed is not the important question. What I really want to know is how they are able to get all those seeds in their mouths and then un-shell them one by one with their mouths & spit them out. How the heck do they do that?

If I tried that, I’d end up spitting half of the unused ones out along with the shells. Not that I would ever spit anything, anyway what with being so lady-like and dignified and all. (Bahahahaha!!!!)

In other news, I am very excited about a new contest I am working on. There will be an actual prize and everything. Stay tuned.

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We’re hockey fans. We like the Islanders but they haven’t been doing too good in recent years. With the Stanley Cup games going on, Frank was watching a few of the games. It was just on a second ago except he must have gotten fed up with the game because now I hear the Yankee game on.

But back to hockey. I’m sorry but naming a hockey team after a movie is just so wrong. I am not going to root for a team that was created by Disney. Therefore, we have been rooting for Ottawa. Sure they’re a Canadian team but I’ll take them over the Ducks any day.

Tonight may be the last game. One of those 2 teams has to win 4 games. Right now Ottawa is down 3 games to 1. If the Ducks win tonight, it’s all over. Therefore, it’s do or die for the Ottawa Senators. So Ottawa helps out the Ducks and scores a goal for the Ducks. Okay, it was an accident. The puck got tangled up in the goalie’s skate. But still, could they have any worse luck?

In other sports news, we are going to a Yankee game next week. I am going to bring my new toy with me and play with the zoom to try taking photos of hot baseball players who are young enough to be my sons.

P.S. - Don’t worry, Dave. I know better than to post a Yankee score here.

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