Monkling's Blog

Why? Well let me backtrack just a bit, first. Technically, we own 3 cars. Realistically, we only own one. The kids have taken over the other 2 – which is how it was intended, which is why the other 2 cars are Saturns. Bottom of the line, Saturns. (&, for what it’s worth, you truly do get what you pay for.

Our car is a 14 year old Toyota Camry. We got the car right around the same time we got the dog. On a trip to the vet, the new puppy puked in the backseat. That was the end of the new car smell for that car. But the car has served us well. I love my Camry, in spite of it being the oldest car we own.

Our plan was to get a new car next year. The Camry still ran fine & although the thought of a shiny new car thrilled me, I could hold out. Besides, maybe the 14 year old dog would be going home to Jesus soon, never needing to ride in my car again. Then, about a month ago (as those of you on Facebook know) the dog decided to have an accident in the back of my car. It was a very messy, nasty accident.

I will say the car’s backseat, after being scrubbed, was cleaner than it’s been in a long time. Still… the idea of anyone sitting back there repulsed me. I just couldn’t let anyone sit back there. The car essentially turned into a 2-seater. And that’s just not really convenient. We decided to just go ahead and buy a new car now instead of waiting.

I knew exactly what I wanted, a Honda Accord. I did my research. I got to ride around in one during my trip to Atlanta in April. That was going to be my next car. Frank & I discussed it. We discussed price & agreed on a particular figure. I then went to the dealer on Tuesday. The salesperson I dealt with was a woman. I thought that was good. She’d treat me as an equal, not as a dumb woman who didn’t know anything about cars.

I checked out the Accord. The figure she gave me was in our range. I took it for a spin. That was the car. After calling Frank up, we decided it was a done deal & that we’d come in to finalize everything today.

After I got home, I realized I didn’t have the VIN, which I would need for the insurance. It occurred to me later that she should have given it to me without me having to ask for it. After all, she knew I would need that.

When we got in there this morning, she asks me if I have the insurance card. Yep. She asks me if I have something else. I forget what. Uh, no. Shouldn’t you have mentioned I would need that? I also had the original title but not the updated one that showed the car was paid off. The woman had a problem with that. Again, she should have mentioned that before today, no? She wanted us to call the loan company. Uh, they no longer exist and besides, you just ran a credit check on us so you know there is nothing outstanding. Idiot. (No, I didn’t say that but I did think it.)

It turns out none of those things were an issue so after 4 hours, yes FOUR freaking hours, they had our car ready. I asked about the cut off switch for the alarm because every car we’ve ever had has had an issue with us needing to kill the alarm at some point. “Oh, this car doesn’t come with an alarm.” Uh, I’m pretty sure it’s standard but whatever. I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

We drive it home. As I’m getting out of the car, I see a sticker on the window that I point out to Frank. It says there is an alarm. Apparently the girl knows nothing about the cars she sells. How damn stupid can you be to sell cars without knowing about them. I knew more than she did about the different models and the differences between them.

Then I’m putting stuff in the car – tissues, maps, important things like that. I open the trunk to put in a first aid kit & a roll of paper towels. there’s something shiny in there. It looks like a car part. Why, it is a car part! A part that belongs on the exhaust pipe. I know it’s not an essential, crucial part but damn, if I am buying a new car, I expect all the parts to be on it!

So tomorrow I go back to have them put it on. And to have them take off the glue they left behind when they removed the stickers. And to tell someone off for not thoroughly checking out that car. What the heck were they doing for FOUR hours??? Having a tea party in the backseat?

I am now done with my rant, thank you very much.

Since I knew I would barely get to spend time with anyone on Saturday, I decided I wanted my out of town guests over for dinner here on Friday night. It was sort of like a rehearsal dinner. Besides, I like cooking for people, especially people who act like they never ate anything in their entire lives that tastes as good as my sauce & meatballs.

The big anniversary party on Saturday was perfect. None of my nightmares came true. The DJ did show up, he didn’t suck, people weren’t sitting around being bored.

My entire family was there minus my brother’s wife & child (who live in Florida) and 1 of my cousins & her son (she had bronchitis and wanted to come anyway until the doctor said, “Sure you can go – if you want to get your entire family sick.”). I don’t have a very large family.

I asked my cousin, who is a priest, if he would say grace. I was figuring he’d do the simple “Bless Us Oh Lord” thing. Nope. What he said was so beautiful that I’m sorry we didn’t have someone taping it. He spoke about Frank & I and marriage & all that. If I was the crying sort, I’d have been bawling.

Then there was the toast. Steve did it via video.

The young folks did not dance nearly enough. I had to beg one of them to get up to show me how to do that Cotton Eye Joe song and by the time someone agreed, it was over. Let me tell ya, if anyone in that place feel the least bit funny about dancing because they thought they didn’t know how, I sure made them feel at home because I can’t follow directions, I have no sense of rhythm & 2 left feet. I do know that my attempts at dancing provided everyone with some entertainment.

The only bad thing that happened was 1 poor friend not making it here. On the drive up, her car broke down. She arrived at the party just as it was ending. I gave her homemade Limoncello when we got back to my house but I don’t think it quite made up for it.

At this time, 25 years ago, we were still dancing away at our reception. It went until 11 and I had the best time. I’ve heard about how newlyweds never have a good time at their wedding reception; how they spend the day going from table to table, greeting people, taking photos, barely having time to eat. That wasn’t the case with us. We had a blast.

Today we renewed our vows. Now normally I don’t like that whole thing because it means getting up in front of everyone in Church. But this day was different. It’s the feast day of my parish and they were having this big Mass tonight at 7:30 with the bishop. Therefore, I knew the usual noon crowd would be down. They’d all be at the night Mass tonight.

There were a few people who don’t normally attend the noon weekday Mass there today – my father & his wife, my sister & nephew, my sister in-law with my niece & 2 nephews, my friend & her daughter, another friend & her husband (my official photographer). The lector (reader) was another friend. Everyone came back here for lunch afterwards. Well not everyone like people I don’t know. And my pastor had plans, as did our visiting priest, who so happens to be living at the seminary in Rome with my son during the school year. But we did have 15 or so people here. I had food to easily feed double that number. Hey, can I help it??

Anyway, getting back to the Church, so after the homily, our pastor has us come up on the altar with him & it was sorta like we were getting married again. Yes, that’s right. I got up in front of everyone and spoke. Well not exactly. I just repeated what the priest told us to say. The only way I got through it was by not looking directly at Frank. I’m sorry but if I looked at him, I would have lost it and not have been able to say anything.

Later, back at the house, one of my friends said, “So who cried when Joanne & Frank renewed their vows?” Everyone’s hand shot up. Even Frank’s. I think the only ones who didn’t were me & the kids. Oh, didn’t I mention I don’t cry in front of people?

Now I know what that means – from first hand experience.

Tomorrow is our 25th wedding anniversary. We will be renewing our vows at the Noon Mass (not “nude” Mass! Apparently when I say “noon” it sounds like “nude” to non-New Yorkers).

Some of our family and friends will attend the Mass & I thought it would be really cool to have them over to the house afterwards for a little celebratory luncheon. Yesterday I went out to Panera Bread and ordered sandwiches. Then I went to the supermarket to pick up a few other important things like drinks & chips.

As I was walking down to the basement, I missed that last step and fell, coming down hard on my left ankle. I was in so much pain that I thought for sure I had just broken my ankle. I sat on the floor looking up at the stairs wondering how I was going to get back up. I looked around at the scattered groceries. I thought to myself, “Gee, lucky thing I have my cellphone in my pocket.”

I waited for the pain to subside enough for me to be able to talk and then called Theresa to give her a heads up that she might be taking me to the ER.

Eventually, the pain subsided enough for me to attempt getting back up the stairs. It just so happened that Theresa’s crutches were literally, right behind me. I hobbled my way up the stairs, took some anti-inflammatory drugs, got out an ice pack and parked myself on the couch, debating whether or not I should go to the ER.

For the next hour, I sat on the couch thinking, “I do not have time for this. I need to clean for tomorrow’s company. I have a million things to do.” I whined on Facebook. My friend, Larry, who knows about medical stuff, called after seeing the post. We determined that it probably wasn’t broken. After how it feels this morning, I’d say it’s definitely not broken, thank God! Because I just don’t have time to be crippled.

So now I’m thinking, damn, if it hurt that much and there’s no real damage, I can’t even begin to imagine how much a broken ankle must hurt. Seriously. I am not exactly a wimp when it comes to pain.

Ah, well. Time to get to work here. I know I promised details about Saturday’s party. I’ll get to that. Obviously, however, whining is way more important.

It’s not that I have nothing to say. It’s that I am so tired, I just can’t type much. In spite of the nightmares I’ve had (literally), our 25th anniversary party went off great. More details to follow, for the few remaining readers I have.