The Burlesque Show

I was going to take the day off today from blogging. I was going to declare this Sunday as a day of rest. We were out most of the day – first to Mass, then to a dinner that our parish has for all the people who do volunteer work and then it was off to the nursing home….

Quick story about the volunteer dinner thing. You had to fill out a form so they knew how many people were going to show up. Otherwise, how would they know how much food to order, eh? On the slip to fill out, there was a line where you were supposed to write what group or ministry you belonged to. I wrote in, “Supreme Website Ruler.” I take care of the parish website. Hey, if I’m going to fill something out, I might as well make it entertaining for whoever has to read it.

Now the Nursing Home story. Frank & I got there first, before his sister. About half an hour later, Mel comes walking in with 2 other friends and the room is filled beyond capacity.

It’s hot in the nursing home. Initially, walking in there from outside where it’s like -324 degrees out, it feels great but then it’s way too hot. My mother in-law is always hot even when others aren’t so we always play out the same routine.

“Is the window opened?”
“Yes, Mom.”
“I don’t feel anything. Open it more.”
“It’s opened as much as it can open.” The window only opens up about an inch.

There are 5 of us in the room and only 1 seat so Frank is sitting by his mom on the bed and Mel is sitting on the edge of the roommate’s bed. Mel starts opening her blouse. I don’t recall what the conversation was that led to her doing that. I only remember her pulling on her blouse. I made some crack about, “What is this – a strip club?”

My mother in-law is very hard of hearing and didn’t hear what I said. I’m not even sure she knew I said anything. She says, “What is this – a burlesque show?”

It seems there’s always some sort of story any time we go to the nursing home. Last time we walked in, I had the nurses asking, “Are you the one who made all those cookies?” (Frank had bought a bunch in with him right after Christmas.) That was also the week MIL’s roommate was upset because her son wasn’t there yet and she thought he was in jail. (No, he is not a criminal & I’m not sure why she thought he was in jail.)

I bet y’all wish you could go to a nursing home each week for your entertainment, don’t you? You’re all so jealous of me and all the fun I have there.