Driving Miss Monkling

I am so grateful I married a man with so much patience. Either that or he’s grateful he married a woman who keeps him entertained while he drives. I’m not quite sure which is the actual situation. I’ll tell ya, though. If it was me driving who had to listen to me rambling, I’d think I’d toss myself out of the car.

Seriously, I come out with the most random, weirdest things. And the jokes are so corny, they don’t even deserve a laugh. Really. Like take us passing by an exit sign that says, ‘Plains Road.’ “Hey, what happened to ‘White?’ Did it fall off the sign?” That because there’s a street called White Plains Rd. I’m telling you, I come up with real winners. A lot of stuff like that comes out of my mouth but I think I have put you through enough pain with the first example and that y’all get the general idea.

Some of the conversation I think Frank probably finds entertaining, though. Stuff like when I tell him we need to get off at the next exit because there’s a sign that says, “Giant Weenies.” And I go through my list of what we would do if we were dogless and had the free time to explore. “When we’re dogless, let’s get off at that exit called ‘Lighthouse Road’ and find out if there’s a lighthouse there.” (You see, when you have a dog to get home to, you can’t take side trips that may add an hour to your trip.)

Then there are my imagination ramblings. I’ll go through a whole list of what I’d want to do if we were to hit a huge jackpot at the casino or hit the lottery. This is usually prompted by seeing something like a car hauling a boat, like today. “If we were rich, I don’t think I’d want a boat. They’re too much work. It would be way easier just to rent one whenever we want. If we owned one, we’d have to maintain it, we’d have to pay rent to dock it, we’d have to dry dock it someplace during the winter.”

Do you think Frank is just wearing ear plugs and I never picked up on that?