Monkling’s Blog

In order to amuse myself today and to stop myself from worrying too much, I have been hunting for the perfect wedding gift. So far I have found 8 very uh… different gifts. Here are the first 4:

His & Hers Harmonicas
What couple wouldn’t love this beautiful set? It gives true meaning to the phrase, “They make lovely music together.”

Buddha on a Rope
What can top the whole ’soap on a rope’ idea? Buddha on a rope! Give this to the happy couple and they will think of you every time they shower.

Marshmallow Gun
This fun and unique gift will give your friends something to do
on a rainy day. They can use this gun to shoot marshmallows at each other.

Smiling Cow Sculpture
For art loving couples, this is a rare find! This sculpture is made
with actual cow teeth.

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In my comments from a few days ago, I was complaining that this blog hasn’t seemed terribly funny lately. It seems that even though I’m not up to my usual level of silliness, I still rated an award.

I was given this award by Lanny over at her blog, Lagniappe. Ah, I do enjoy making people laugh. Well except when they’re getting over bronchitis because then when they laugh, they sound like they’re coughing their brains out. That’s generally not fun. Hey, is it my fault that my friend is marrying someone named Bill and then I got this idea in my head to make the most horribly gaudy wedding website which included the happy couple as clay figures featuring Mr. Bill in a tux? I have no control whatsoever of the strange ideas that just pop into my head. Really.

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I have 4 nephews & 1 niece. All but Michael are 10 or younger. Mike is my sister’s son, who I’ve been helping out with while Janet’s been in the hospital. I’ve mentioned Michael before but I never really gave specifics. Mike is 19 & autistic. Not like Rainman, but nonetheless, it makes things interesting.

If you spent some time with Michael, you would think my sister & her husband must be the strictest parents ever to walk the face of the earth. This is because Mike asks permission for everything. Literally everything. That would include going to the bathroom. None of us have a clue why he does this.

Even his statements sound like questions. When I hug any of the kids good bye, I always say, “I love you,” to them. Michael will respond, “I love you too?” Maybe he’s not quite sure how he feels about me.

He also usually says “yes” or “sure” to any question you ask him. I made sure I had a nice variety of snacks & cereal in the house when he stayed with us but I have learned how to phrase things to get an actual answer out of him. I cannot say, “Do you want chocolate chip cookies?” because he will just agree to that but may not actually want that. I have to offer him choices so that he can pick what he really wants.

It was fun getting to spend some one-on-one time with my nephew - and I don’t think I ever saw such an agreeable teenager in my life.

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I’m way too busy cleaning today to come up with a funny blog post. Okay, I’m not really cleaning too much. What I’m really doing is stuffing my face with Snickers & Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (thanks to my princess & her gifts yesterday). Therefore, today’s blog post will be a photo journal of life in a dorm room when you live in a seminary.

Last year my niece had to make Flat Brianna (a take-off on Flat Stanley) who got to spend some time with Steve in D.C. In addition to dorm life, Flat Brianna got to see the White House and several other landmarks. She also spent some time studying metaphysics:

Fortunately, Flat Brianna did not suffer the same fate as Super Bunny Man:


I have no idea why this is called Super Bunny Man but it seems he spent a lot of time being thrown around and hanging from the ceiling.
If you picture the guys living in the seminary as a serious bunch who spend all their time studying and praying, well your mental image is wrong. Sure they spend time doing that but they also spend time on other very serious things. Things like scavenger hunts:



Apparently the gate for the parking lot was used as a sort of starting gate. I’m not sure if they used one of those starter pistols but it sure looked like a bunch of horses charging out of the gate. The boys… uh, young men, had to go around finding different things & taking photos. I’m not sure I really want to know what it is they had to find in this shot:



Yes people, here are your future priests. (The one whose face is not pixelized would be my guy.)

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Here in Monklingland, we are postponing Valentine’s Day because Frank will be working late. That’s okay, though. I’m not alone. I have my nephew here to keep me company & he will be spending the night.

While I was driving home from my sister’s house to mine with Mike, my cellphone rang. I couldn’t talk because I was driving so she asked me when I’d be home & she’d call me back. Mike & I arrive back at the house. I want to call Frank but I’m waiting to hear from Theresa first. No call. Suddenly the front door bursts open. Okay, either that is someone I know or I am about to be kidnapped. Hmmm… I guess adultnapped since I’m not a kid.

It was my princess walking in with this:

For her Valentine’s gift, I gave her a box of cereal and let her steal my popcorn. Okay, I’ve been a wee bit busy lately & didn’t get anyone anything for Valentine’s Day. But hey, it beats how my sister is spending Valentine’s Day. She had surgery. (Nothing major. It was to reverse something they had to do for the first surgery.)

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A couple of years ago, I went with my friend, Lou, to the Grand Olde Opry. We were going there to see this group that she really liked but that I had never heard of before: Rascal Flatts. I hadn’t listened to country music in years but it sounded like a fun trip and I’m not one to turn down an opportunity to have fun.

Anyone who’s familiar with the Grand Olde Opry knows there isn’t just 1 performer. There’s a whole mess of them, some who look like they’re 105 years old. I can’t remember if it was before or after Rascal Flatts came on but they said something about this being the first performance there by this next singer and a young girl comes out.

This girl is good. We liked her music, she had a good stage presence & a good voice. After she was done, we both looked at each other and said, “Okay, we’re gonna get her CD!” It turned out the singer was Carrie Underwood. Yes, neither Lou nor myself ever watched American Idol or we’d have known who she was.

When I saw Carrie Underwood was going to be at the Garden tonight (that’s Madison Square Garden, for all you out of state people) I wanted to get tickets. I was pretty sure it would be sold out because any time I have the slightest interest in seeing a concert, it’s always sold out. Not this time.

I emailed Lou to tell her I was going to see Carrie Underwood & some guy. She emailed me back. What guy? It’s not Keith Urban, is it? Why yes, that is the name of the guy. I have no idea who he is. The next day there were CDs in my mailbox because if I was going to see this guy, I needed to be familiar with his music. Okay, maybe they didn’t arrive the next day but it seemed that way.

I have been told I’m going to love this concert. I expect I will - just as long as I get there without getting soaked. I have this knack for picking days when the weather isn’t too great. Actually it’s my sister’s fault. Last time we went to a concert, we went with Janet & her husband. It was not just raining. It was a monsoon. During the concert, they lost power. Yep, now I will forever have dark storm clouds following me when I go to concerts.

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This didn’t happen to me but when my sister told me the story, I was laughing so I had to share it. Oddly, when something is really, really stupid, I laugh. Like, “That is so insane, that it’s funny.”

Anyhow, back to my instructions on how to have a heart attack.

1. Listen to the news.
2. Hear on the news that a small school bus overturned.
3. Know that it was on a street and around the time your son could possibly have been on that bus.
4. Call the bus company.
5. Say to them, “I heard there was an accident this morning.”
6. Hear them say to you, “Now don’t panic, Mr. Mike’s dad,” and then listen to them put you on hold.

No, they can’t tell you, “It was a different district than yours.” That wouldn’t be fun. It’s more fun to have you on the line, imagining them checking a list of accident victims to see if your son’s name is on it.

Want to know what else is fun? Having a failed implant removed and getting a bone graft in your jaw. Yep, I really want to do that again soon.

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I was thinking that maybe, since I posted twice yesterday, I should take the day off. That would be cheating, though. That second post barely counted as a real post. On the other hand, some of my ‘real’ posts barely count, either. Let’s not have anyone think I cheat. I may be lazy & I may attempt to cheat but I just can’t so here I am.

Wait, I have a good excuse for not blogging today. I’m anticipating how miserable I’m going to feel tomorrow after the oral surgery to remove the failed implant. Nah, that’s no good because I need to save that excuse for tomorrow.

How about I didn’t have time to blog today because I was watching my nephew? No one has to know that I don’t have to leave my house to pick him up until 2. What was I doing before that, anyway? I have no clue but apparently I was way too busy to blog.

Right now I do have a good reason: it’s late & I’m tired. Plus I think I’m supposed to be thinking up answers for something I got tagged with. Yep, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking with it.

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I’m back. I just needed a quick review since it’s been almost a year since my last poll - so here it is. I’m going to try to remember to take my camera out with me tomorrow & get some photos so y’all can see the NY Red Light District.

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Actually, it’s not my light. It does seem that everyone else has these lights, though, & I gotta ask: What is up with the Valentine’s Day lights? Is it just a new thing here in NY or is this widespread and all over the country?

I’m telling ya, every block you go down, there are red lights strung up, big lite up red hearts, all sorts of bright red decorations that you can see from miles away. It looks like the entire neighborhood just turned into a red light district.

If you’re one of those red light people, I don’t mean to uh… judge you or anything & I’m fairly sure you’re house doesn’t look like some of the ones I’ve seen; like a beacon calling out to all the little cupids.

Too bad I can’t remember how to do a poll. Then I could have one on here and we could see just how widespread this is. Okay, in lieu of the poll, I want everyone to post a comment saying whether they have a lot of Valentine’s Day decorations in their neighborhood and what state you live in. We’ll do our very own unofficial red light survey. Then I can make this cute little map with the results of just where the red lights have been spotted.

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