Frank was out in the backyard weeding. I’m afraid it’s not only our grass that looks awful. But it’s not really our fault. Who has time to do things like yard work when you’re driving back & forth to the Bronx all weekend long, right? Yes, it seems we have turned into those neighbors who have the worst looking yard. No, wait. If I was really mean, I could describe who really has the worst but I’m above stuff like that. Anyone who knows me, knows I would never say anything like that. 
Oops. I started going off on a tangent there. Back to my lumberjack story. I couldn’t allow Frank to be back there doing all the work so I went out to help him. He’s nice and orderly. He went along the sides, weeding and throwing everything out as he went along. I, on the other hand, just yank everything and leave it there, hoping to get back to it so I can throw it out. Usually he gets to it first. Hey, at least he had the 1 and only pair of gardening gloves. Mine got tossed when that yellow jacket stung me right through them that other time.
Then I noticed the back section. It seems a few wild cherry trees and who knows what else took over. I attacked back. I was sawing branches and taking down limbs. Sawdust flew everywhere. After I was done, I have a feeling Frank wishes I had stayed inside because of the pile I left behind:
I know you’re thinking I’m mean for coming inside and leaving all that. I had every intention of cleaning up after myself. The trouble is, I’m allergic to all sorts of plants. Do you know what happens when you pull weeds and get scratches all over your arms? You end up with nice, red, itching welts. Now surely no one can expect me to bag weeds and tree branches under those circumstances.
It could be bad for your health to be out there too long. Better to be inside near the computer in case you need to google something like “allergy lifesavers” before your eyes start swelling closed.
I agree with Katy, trying to be too much of a Lumberjack or Lumberjill or Lumberjohn or Lumberjo could be very hazardous to your health. Must ALWAYS stick close to the computer. And then make more soap.
I thought all women weeded and pruned, and all men cleaned up the debris and threw it away. One of those species-specific, division of labor natural laws or something. Like grilling outdoors vs the oven.
Heh, you guys are great. Now I don’t have to feel guilty about that pile of branches which is still sitting exactly where it was yesterday. And I have 2 reasons – the whole allergy thing and division of labor.