Please note that the title does not say, “Mom And The Evil GPS.” Like everything else in this family, my GPS does seem to have some issues but that’s a blog entry for another day. For today, this is all about me.
Normally I function quite well as a GPS unit. Many times I will receive phone calls for directions. Usually these calls are from one of the kids although others have been known to use my services. The phone calls go something like this:
Brrrrrriiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnngggggg (that would be the phone ringing)
Me: Living GPS Unit here. How may I assist you?
Person: I’m lost.
Me: Tough luck. Go find a map or a gas station.
Person: Unless you want me to come to a dead stop on the bridge, go to the trunk to get a map and then get hit by a car which will send me flying off the bridge into the ocean, you need to help me.
Me: Fine. Let me get the map software up & running. Okay, where are you?
Person: I have no idea. If I did, I wouldn’t be lost.
Eventually we end up determining where the lost person is and I am successful in helping the lost person navigate to their destination. This is always accomplished while sitting at the computer, eyes riveted on every tiny detail of the street map software.
Last night I found out that once I am taken away from my computer, I am useless. This discovery was made when I gave directions to Steve and Theresa on how to drive over to a ball field to watch their cousin’s Little League game.
Technically my directions were right. I told them to get off the highway at Sunrise Highway. The glitch came in that the exit does not say, “Sunrise Highway.” I was already at the game, awaiting their arrival when I got a phone call. “There is no exit for Sunrise Highway.” Oops. I suddenly realized it actually says, “Route 27.” If I had the map software in front of me, I’d have seen that & I would have told them not only the exact exit name but the exit number as well.
Ah, well, Next time they can just get out the map. What do people expect when they’re getting a free service? And no, I am not going to put my phone number up here on the blog so that you, too, can have me as a Human GPS.
You can charge a monthly fee for this service, you know! And if your phone really makes that “Brrriiiiiiinnnnnnnnggggggg” noise, you could charge extra because you need a new phone
! Remember the “old days” of the “Movie Phone” well, you could be the “GPS Phone.” Really, there is money to be made here!
Meanwhile, where are you and Ann Marie? My deck is calling…and I have the beans and weinies all ready for the grill
!
psssssstttt, kim-d, I know Monkling’s phone number…what’s it worth to you!
my sister always calls me when she is traveling for work and asks me to find her a hotel/restaurant/exit quick. I have dial up so by the time I get the teenagers off the computer and wait on maps to load she is in another state!