Tonight I found out my husband is a polygamist and that I share him with 13 other women. If you think you’re shocked to discover this, imagine how shocked I was.
We were quietly having dinner with Deb & her California gals. Okay, it wasn’t quiet at all, actually. It was quite… lively. There were several large tables in the section where we were sitting. One table had about 15 men sitting there. We thought ‘Bachelor Party.’ Turns out we were wrong, as we learned when the guest of honor walked over to our table.
Tonight’s Tip: Do not sing “Happy Birthday” in the presence of a bunch of drunk older men. It is dangerous. Everyone at our table loudly sang to Mary Kay. That was when our friend from the other table walked over. He felt he had to also wish her a Happy Birthday. He explained this was his retirement party. Then he grabbed Mary Kay and gave her a big, juicy, passionate kiss right on the lips.
As she gagged and grabbed a martini to gargle with, he asked what the deal was with Frank. Why was he the only guy surrounded by 14 women? I forget who it was that replied but someone said, “Oh, we’re Mormons. We are all his wives.”
Another guy came from that retirement party and walked over to our table. He wanted to check out the polygamist or, at least, that was his excuse. What he really wanted to do was plant one on Mary Kay. After all, why should the retired guy and the polygamist have all the fun? Anticipating this, she stuck out her hand to shake his. He was one determined fellow. He grabbed her with both hands and reeled her in like a fish until he was able to kiss her. Luckily, there was still some of that martini left to gargle with.
We had a blast. It turns out that Frank’s other wives are a lot of fun.
May 6th, 2007 at 11:47 pm Quote
I will definitely keep your tip in mind.
May 7th, 2007 at 12:04 am Quote
Just read this aloud and we’re cracking up!! The comment from those who only met you tonight…”we had no idea such comedy from such a quiet gal.”
What fun we had. I’ll bet DF’s a little jealous of Frank.
xoxoxo
May 7th, 2007 at 12:46 am Quote
Yes I agree that some people out there have a life or something weird that makes them too busy to play our little games. I have you bookmarked so I will watch in case you come up with a new game anytime soon.
My husband is going to be jealous….14 wives!;)
May 7th, 2007 at 11:24 am Quote
I recommend doing almost NOTHING in the presence of drunken older men. Trust me on this.
May 7th, 2007 at 11:55 am Quote
I’m jealous of all the fun you all had without me. Sigh. I’d have kissed MK too.
May 7th, 2007 at 4:01 pm Quote
I am jealous. The wives keep multiplying.
May 7th, 2007 at 4:12 pm Quote
After reading this, my sister said, “That didn’t really happen, right?” She was totally grossed out when I confirmed that yes, it did happen.
May 8th, 2007 at 11:51 pm Quote
I spoke to Debbie tonight and she was quite taken with Frank. Is the rumor true that Frank is thinking of converting to Mormonism?