I came across an old journal of mine and found something in it that is just way too funny to keep to myself. For almost 4 years, in the late 1970s/early 1980s I worked for a doctor on the Upper East Side.
He was a wonderful boss and doctor - maybe half the time. The other half, well let’s just say he was troubled and didn’t come in to work. I swear the man had some sort of book with excuses in it that he could refer to when he called the office to say he wouldn’t be in. This is just a mere fraction of the stuff he used to tell us. (I was young, I was going out all the time so it’s amazing I even kept this good of a record.)
April - he threw his back out
- his father had a heart attack
- he was up all night because someone in the building was murdered & the cops were questioning everyone
May - He was out dancing the previous night & hurt his leg
- he slipped in the shower & hurt his arm
- a close friend committed suicide & he had to make all the arrangements
- he was subpoenaed & had to talk to a lawyer
- he had the flu
June - He had to do his taxes
- had meningitis (& recovered amazingly fast)
- for 2 weeks the office too messy w/ construction so he didn’t come in
Sept. - He fell asleep and lapsed into a coma (that’s one of my favorites)
Oct. - He had migraine headaches
Nov. - He broke his tooth & needed emergency surgery
- he overslept (guess he never thought to come in late)
- the stereo fell on his foot
- he moved and nothing was unpacked
- something came up with his ex-wife & he had to go out of town
Dec. - He had a rare thyroid disease (he said it was so rare that you couldn’t even look it up in any medical book)
I just counted (gee, I’m not in the least bit compulsive) and there are only 19 excuses listed here but it does give you a pretty good idea of what we had to deal with. Now doesn’t that sound like fun? Feel free to borrow any of these. I’m sure he won’t mind.
