Sure you have heard of Horse Whisperer and Dog Whisperer. You may even watch Ghost Whisperer. Now I bring you Pew Whisperer. Just what is a Pew Whisperer, you ask? Usually it is an elderly person, at least 70 years old. They sit in the pew directly behind you in Church and they whisper every single prayer out loud during times when the Church is completely silent. Their main goal seems to be to totally distract whoever is sitting near them.
I have often fallen victim to the Pew Whisperers. There I am in Church, trying to pray, enjoying the peace. Suddenly from somewhere behind me I hear it. No words are discernible. You just hear noises similar to a neglected tea kettle that no one will take off the stove (except not quite as high-pitched).
Most people probably aren’t even aware of the Pew Whisperers. I, on the other hand, have a very limited attention span and I can find distractions anywhere. When the whispering begins, it just makes me crazy. My concentration is shot and I end up thinking more about the Pew Whisperer than God, wishing they’d just shut up or at least, go sit someplace else.
I’m not quite sure why these people feel compelled to pray out loud but I do have a theory. Based on the fact that they all seem elderly, I suspect they think God is slightly deaf so He won’t be able to hear them unless they pray out loud. At least I think they are praying. Since I can’t make out any actual words, they could be sitting there whispering things about me.
I usually try to avoid sitting anywhere near a suspected Pew Whisperer. I scan the rows for elderly people with their lips moving. Sometimes, though, they trick you. They seem like perfectly quiet people until I sit in front of them. Suddenly they start whispering. It’s as though they can tell I’m psychotic & that their whispering irritates me so they know they must whisper. Then I am trapped because it would be rude to get up and move away.
Tonight we will be in Church for the Mass commemorating the Last Supper. (For Holy Thursday they have a special Mass and the priest washes the feet of 12 parishioners, imitating Christ at the Last Supper.) Hopefully I will be concentrating on the Mass and not on the Pew Whisperer.
