Today’s random thoughts are about time, as in how much time does it take a person to get over something. What other factors throw in complications? For example, say your 16 year old son lies to you. (This is a completely fictitious example because I am trying to come up with an example that has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with my own life.) If your son lies to you once, you’ll question what he says to you next time but the amount of distrust you have will be directly dependent upon a lot of other factors. How serious was the lie? Does this happen all the time? What sort or relationship did you have with your son in the first place? Was there another person in your life who constantly lied to you? All those things will have a bearing on your initial reaction and how long it will take your son to regain your trust.
15 years ago, when I had the 2 miscarriages, I remember reading something that said the average time it took to get through the whole grieving process was 2 years. At the time, I thought that was an incredibly long time, but it gave me hope that I wouldn’t feel miserable forever. It turns out that it took a hell of a lot longer than that and I got to thinking - how can anyone put something like that into a time table? I also wondered whether or not I’d have felt it so much if it had happened earlier in the pregnancies or if it had happened only once. I wondered would those things have made it not as bad.
I also know some people deliberately hold onto things. They keep their anger and resentment and sorrow with them like an old, treasured friend. It’s what they’re familiar with & they forget how to let it go. Maybe there’s a part of the whole “getting over” stuff that is like dealing with any other psychological problem or pain - you have to know something’s there and you have to want to deal with it.
I guess the bottom line is there’s no such thing as a set time for getting over anything, eh?
