I had started reading some of the books hanging around the house; books the kids had to read for high school that I had never read. One of them was A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. The main character knows that her mom favors her brother over her. One time her mother turned to her for something. (I forget what. I don’t retain most things all that well.) Afterwards, the girl says that maybe being needed is better than being loved.
I practically cringed at that concept. I have mixed feelings about being needed. On one hand, it’s kind of nice. But, in my experience, being needed always seems to lead to people using me, finding me useful when they need me and then dumping me when either the need goes away or I no longer fulfill that need. So the whole idea of being needed isn’t such an ideal situation for me.
Then I got to thinking about the whole relationship with one’s parents & I decided forget the whole being needed thing. And love isn’t enough, either. You have to feel like you matter, that you’re important to your parents. And not just to your parents, but in general, in any relationship that’s important.
Maybe that’s even more the case in friendships because somehow it seems more meaningful - that these people care about you and they don’t have to. They’re not related to you, they’re not connected to you but they still choose to love you and consider you important.
And those are today’s random ramblings.
